The One With the Blues
by Exintaris
Summary: See Author's Note and The One With Bonnie for explanation of the background. It is mainly about Ross and Emily, married when it starts, Rachel, and Julie. Mild references to ff sexual relationships.
1. Default Chapter

**THE ONE WITH THE BLUES**

by **Exintaris**

Author's Note: This is set in the world of the Love Goddess Sequence (which I have decided not to re-post; thanks to all reviewers and readers). The last chapter of this, The One With Bonnie, has been re-posted; reading it will make the whole situation much clearer. Essentially, Ross is married to Emily, who is now pregnant by him, and, partly driven by forces she does not understand (she is inhabited by a goddess of loving kindness), Rachel has become the focus of a network of female relationships, being particularly close to Monica, although she and Chandler are now living together. Do not be misled by the light-hearted start; this is intended to be serious stuff about relationships (and _not_ primarily f/f ones, which do not feature much).

Disclaimer: The Friends characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.

Chapter 1: Phoebe Has the Blues

Quite early one Sunday morning, using Chandler's old key, Monica quietly let herself into Joey and Rachel's apartment. Stealthily she moved towards Rachel's room and opened the door as quietly as she could. As she had rather expected, Rachel was alone and still asleep. For a moment she gazed down fondly at the face of the person she loved most in all the world after Chandler, even more than Ross. Then she kicked off her slippers, removed her robe and nighty, and eased herself into the bed behind Rachel, who sighed and moaned a little, as if waking up. Monica stroked her hair, then her back, discovering to her delight that Rachel was sleeping naked.

'Shdnubewchlr?' mumbled Rachel.

'What's that, sweetie?' said Monica cheerfully, fondling Rachel's shapely butt.

Rachel appeared to ignore this and her eyes remained firmly closed. 'Shdn' you be wi' Chan'ler?' she said more distinctly.

Monica stroked her face and down her body, and decided to tease her a little. 'I'm still not getting it.'

Rachel groaned; her eyes snapped open and she turned round, looking exasperated. 'I _said, shouldn't you – ', but she got no further, for Monica stopped her mouth with a kiss and put her arms round her._

'Chandler's dead to the world,' she said. 'He'll sleep for hours yet. We had an, um, active night.'

'Wish I had,' said Rachel rather wistfully.

'And here I am, wide awake,' Monica continued, 'and I suddenly got this yearning for you.'

'It's nice to be yearned for,' said Rachel, smiling a little, 'but I wish you'd let me sleep a bit longer. Your trouble is, you have too much energy.'

'It comes from the love you and Chandler give me,' said Monica. 'It's so great to have both of you. It really means a lot to me.'

'It just as well there's two of us,' retorted Rachel. 'You'd wear one of us right out.'

'You shouldn't be so beautiful,' said Monica, caressing her in various places. 'Don't you usually wear something in bed, by the way – not that I'm complaining.'

Rachel flushed slightly. 'I was feeling … hot,' she said.

Monica decided not to push her on it. 'Well, it makes things a lot easier,' she said, beaming at Rachel, and began to caress her rather more intimately. Rachel gasped and suddenly moved very close. 'You'd better make it worth waking me up,' she muttered, and leaned in to kiss her.

Rather later, they lay entwined together, looking at each other in complete contentment.

'Of us all, who do you like the best?' said Monica suddenly.

'Do you even have to ask?' said Rachel rather indignantly. 'I'm very fond of you all, but you – you I love. Surely you know that by now, Mon.'

'I do, really,' said Monica. kissing her shoulder, 'but it's _so nice to hear you say it. What about Phoebe?'_

'Oh, I love her most after you,' said Rachel, 'but … not in this way so much.'

'Have you ever been lovers since that time, back when we first got together, when you were so unhappy?' Monica asked.

Rachel shook her head. 'What's all this about, Mon?'

'I'm worried about her. She's been rather down recently, in a way that's not like her. Could you find out what's up? I don't think she even has a lover at present.'

'She often doesn't,' said Rachel, 'but it never seems to bother her all that much. Okay, I'll look into it.' She looked pensive. 'You know, I'm surprised that it should be Phoebe who's the first to crack. Remember when Emily said she was as tough as old boots?'

Monica chuckled. 'How could I forget? It was the time when Emily persuaded me to see Chandler as a potential boyfriend, for which I shall always love her. But what do you mean, first to crack?'

Rachel's face went very serious. 'Don't you think we've been too lucky?' she said. 'Everything's gone fine. Ross's marriage is working. Chandler seems to have no problem with you and me carrying on like this. And I have had a great time making it up with everyone who might have issues with me, and have enlarged our circle of friends in the process, which has been good for us all. I just get this strong feeling that it cannot last – that reality is going to reassert itself.'

'Big ideas in a little head,' said Monica merrily, tousling Rachel's hair.

'I'm not a complete airhead,' said Rachel a little sharply. 'I think about these things, especially because you and others have said more than once that I am the centre, I hold everything together. That makes me feel responsible.'

'I'm sorry, sweetie,' said Monica contritely. 'You're right, and I'm surprised that I haven't felt this myself. I always used to be the one who had forebodings of doom, but that was because my life never seemed to be going well. Now, I don't think I could be happier.'

'Oh yes, you could,' said Rachel, grinning at her. 'You could be married with kids. That's what you always really wanted, isn't it?'

Monica grinned back and nodded. 'But now I think I have a good chance of that,' she said, 'whereas it used to look hopeless.'

'Seeing Emily pregnant doesn't seem to put ideas into Chandler's head, though,' said Rachel.

'I'd rather he had no ideas than the wrong ones,' said Monica lightly. 'And we've only been together a few months. Softly softly catchee monkey, as Emily once said to me. It's some kind of quote, meaning you have to approach tricky jobs like catching a monkey very carefully.'

The next time they were in Central Perk together, with several of the others, Rachel tried to study Phoebe's behaviour. She seemed cheerful enough, but rather subdued, never coming out with any of the characteristic oddball remarks that Rachel loved. Then Ross and Emily came in. Rachel happened to be looking at Phoebe at the time, and saw her eyes go straight to Emily's stomach, which was just beginning to swell. Phoebe's face changed, to look old and full of pain, and she turned her head away. It was obvious to Rachel what was wrong: Phoebe badly wanted a baby herself. But unlike Chloe and Bonnie, who seemed fascinated by the whole business and plied Emily with questions whenever they were in, Phoebe did not take any part in the discussion of how the baby and Emily were coming along. Presently she got up, muttering about the bathroom. Discreetly, Rachel followed. When she entered, she heard muffled sobbing from one of the cubicles.

'Pheebs, it's me, Rachel,' she said quietly. 'Do you want to talk about it?'

There was silence for a moment. Then the door opened, and Phoebe almost fell into Rachel's arms and wept on her shoulder for a short while. Finally she lifted her head. 'Oh Rach, I've never, ever felt this bad since I got off the street.'

'It's the baby, isn't it?' said Rachel gently. 'You want one of your own.'

Phoebe's face screwed up in apparent anguish. 'Oh God, so _much! I can hardly bear to see Emily, which is not fair, because I like her – but I feel so jealous!'_

'You don't want to use the sperm bank, as Monica once thought of doing?' Rachel said.

'It seems so unnatural,' said Phoebe, 'but I might come to it.' She  blew her nose. 'Thanks for coming after me.'

'You can come to me and talk about it whenever you want to,' said Rachel. 'You were there for me, back when Ross and Emily had just got back and I couldn't take seeing them together. Now it's my turn. Oh, you should wash your face before you go back.'

Phoebe smiled at her. 'Rach, you're a great friend, you know that?'

After they returned to the table, Rachel was not taking in much, as she was trying to think what could be done for Phoebe, but suddenly she noticed raised voices, and then Ross was on his feet, looking mad. 'None of you has the least respect for my work!' he was shouting. 'Not even you, Emily! Well, I've had enough.' He turned, looking about to storm off. Rachel was seated between him and the door; she jumped up.

'Ross honey – ' she began, but faltered at the look on his face.

'You stay out of this, Rachel,' he said fiercely, and pushed past her. Looking beyond him, Rachel saw Emily in tears, Monica trying to comfort her, and the rest looking after Ross in shock. A bang of the door announced that Ross had gone. Deciding that nothing could be gained by going after him, Rachel hurried to Emily's side and knelt down beside her.

'Emily, what on earth happened?' she said.

'All I said – _all I said,' sobbed Emily, who sounded angry rather than anything else, 'was, couldn't he give dinosaurs a rest for once? He's been talking about them __all day, and it's got on my __tits!'_

They all looked at her in shock; it was not like Emily to use such coarse expressions. She glanced around them, and grinned lopsidedly. 'Didn't know I could be like that, did you?' she said. 'Well, today I've had dinosaurs up to _here.'_

'Why has he been talking about them so much today?' said Phoebe.

'Oh, I don't know,' said Emily dismissively. 'Some new find that's got him all excited. He and Julie have been on the phone for _ever, rabbiting about it.'_

'He used to do that with me,' said Rachel. 'The trick is to tune it out.'

'All very well for you, Rachel,' said Emily tartly. 'You never actually lived with Ross.' She swiped at her eyes. 'I'm sorry. I'm overwrought. This is not the first time, but the other was a long time ago, when we were always quarrelling.'

'You know, honey, it's not a good idea to be too down on your man's work, if he loves to talk about it,' said Monica. 'It makes him resentful.'

'I know that,' said Emily rather sadly. 'But it's not as if I'm _always dissing his bloody dinosaurs! Today just hit my limit. And I think he ought to make allowances. I am pregnant, after all.'_

The women nodded, as did Chandler after seeing them do so, but Joey looked puzzled. 'Why should that make any difference?' he said.

'Joey!' they all groaned. He flinched.

'Don't you understand the first thing about how pregnancy affects a woman?' said Monica.

'Yeah,' said Phoebe, 'remember my mood swings? Only it was Rach and Mon who caught those, mostly. Of course, Ross didn't go through that with Carol, because she was with Susan by then.'

'That's a good point,' said Rachel. 'Ross doesn't have the experience you'd expect. You might make allowances for that, Emily.' She smiled at her, hoping Emily wouldn't take offence.

Emily smiled back a little ruefully. 'I hadn't thought of that. Thanks, Phoebe, for coming up with it.' She sighed and stood up. 'Well, I'd better go and apologise, and hope he's feeling sorry too. See you.'


	2. Emily Has the Blues

Chapter 2: Emily Has the Blues

It was Sunday afternoon a week later, and Rachel was indulging herself by what she called 'doing a Phoebe'. Some time ago, on Phoebe's recommendation, she had tried going naked one night in the old apartment when she was alone, and had liked the feeling so much that she had taken to doing it during the day sometimes, when she was fairly sure of not being disturbed. The apartment she shared with Joey had one advantage over Chandler and Monica's, that the windows were smaller and so people were less likely to see in; but she kept the door locked and her bathrobe by her, in case of unexpected visitors or Joey bringing home someone. She got a particular kick out of it in the winter, when the central heating was on.

She was reading the latest Cosmopolitan when there came a knock on the door. Throwing on the robe hurriedly, she looked through the peep-hole: it was Emily. She unlocked and let her in.

'Can we talk?' said Emily, who was looking rather strained. 'You haven't got anyone with you?' she added, taking in Rachel's state of dress.

'Oh no,' said Rachel. 'I was just doing a Phoebe.'

Emily grinned briefly and rolled her eyes. 'That's got me distracted. Look, I don't want to be a nuisance, but could you put something on? This is going to be hard enough without my having … inappropriate thoughts.'

'Sure,' said Rachel, beginning to feel slightly worried about what Emily might mean. 'Help yourself to a drink.' She went to her room and put on a bra, shirt, jeans and sandals. When she came out again, Emily had taken off her hat and coat and was sitting down with a juice, looking out of the window in a brooding kind of way.

'Okay, Em, what's up?' said Rachel, dropping into her chair.

Emily sighed. 'I am beginning to suspect that Ross is seeing someone else.'

Rachel gasped and sat up straight in shock. 'Oh no! Oh Emily, this is terrible. When did this start? Are you sure?'

'One at a time,' said Emily. 'No, I'm not sure. I'm hoping I've got it wrong, which is why I've come to talk to you, because I know how well you know him, and I trust you to be fair to both of us. As for when it started - you remember the day when he stormed out of Central Perk, just because I suggested he lay off talking about dinosaurs for once?' Rachel nodded. 'Well, looking back on it, I think that was a sign that there was something wrong. I did apologise to him, blaming my pregnancy, and he seemed to take it well enough, but … I began to feel, after that, that he was different. He seemed to get snappy about trifles, and we had arguments that were worryingly like the ones we used to have, before you …' Her voice trailed off. She looked down and seemed to swallow. Then she looked up again, directly at Rachel. 'Once he brought up the fact that you had taken me to bed, and said something that suggested he no longer trusted me, or believed what I had told him, that I had never done it again. Have you felt him different towards you, when you've seen him?'

Rachel thought about it. 'It's true, he has seemed a bit standoffish, and not just to me. He's been acting as if his mind was elsewhere, half the time.'

'It's so hard to believe,' Emily said. 'Not so long ago, things were going well. He was so happy about the baby. But now he keeps on about how we don't take him seriously, though he did say once that at least one of our friends admired his work. He meant Julie, I suppose.' Then her hand flew to her mouth. 'Oh my God – do you suppose it's Julie he's seeing?'

'They were in love at one time,' said Rachel. 'I had hoped for better from Julie, but – well, it will be easy to find out.' She moved to pick up her cell phone.

'No, don't ring her,' cried Emily anxiously. 'Suppose I'm wrong? I have no real proof. It's just that he's often home late, always claiming that he's been working, but he gets a bit irritable if I ask what he's working on. And sometimes when I try to ring him at the museum I can't get him, and nobody seems to know where he is.'

'Classic tell-tales,' said Rachel. 'The question is, what do you want to do? Do you want to act as if you suspect nothing, hoping that it will blow over? Lots of wives have done that. Or do you want to find out that it's true and confront him? Perhaps I could find out from Julie whether there's anything in it, and how seriously she's taking it, if so. And there may be no more to it than this. Men can sometimes enjoy talking to attractive colleagues at work, and flirting with them, and going out for coffee or a drink or even a meal with them, but they never dare go beyond that except in their fantasies. But they still feel guilty about it, and so may get angry if questioned about where they've been.'

'Um,' said Emily in a considering way. 'If it were no more than that … Oh Rachel, I do hope so. Anyway, I would be _very_ grateful if you could find out what you can. I'll go on pretending not to notice. I'll even stop asking why he's been working so late.' She smiled at Rachel and put her hand on top of Rachel's. 'I'm so glad I have you to turn to.' But then her face turned sombre, and suddenly she threw her head back and sang:

'One of these nights, it was drizzlin' rain,

All round my heart was an achin' pain.

Fare thee well, oh honey, fare thee well.'

A tear or two trickled down her cheeks, and Rachel felt her own eyes prickling. It was a haunting tune. 'What's that?' she asked.

'It's from Dink's Song,' said Emily. 'John Lomax recorded it from a black woman in Texas long ago. But maybe some of Dink's Blues would be more appropriate.' She looked pensive for a moment, then nodded her head, and sang, to a standard blues tune:

'Worry now an' I won't be worried long,

Yeah, worry now an' I won't be worried long.

Take a married woman to sing de worry song.'

Then her lips curved in a sly smile, and she sang: 

'Git you two three men, so one won't worry you min'.

Yeah, git you two three men, so one won't worry you min'.

Don' they keep you worried and bothered all de time?

Though, the way I'm feeling, I'd almost rather have two three women,' she said, grinning at Rachel. 'The fact of the matter is – I've started having dreams again.'

'Ross not giving you any loving?' Rachel asked, raising her eyebrows.

'Not much,' said Emily, 'and not his best. And I'm feeling pretty damn randy these days. I believe that often happens at this stage of pregnancy.'

Rachel giggled; Emily really had loosened up since her first days in New York. 'That is something of a problem, I can see.'

Emily looked at her directly. 'Um, Rachel … what would you say if I asked about cashing that raincheck?'

'I'd say, only when we're sure Ross is cheating on you, I feel it's an okay thing to do, and I'm in the mood,' said Rachel, smiling back at her. 'Sorry, Emily, but if we're wrong, we wouldn't feel very good about ourselves, now would we?'

'I suppose not,' said Emily, though she did not sound very convinced.

Just then there came another knock on the door. 'Rach, you in there?' came Phoebe's voice.

'Sure, come in, Pheebs,' Rachel called.

Phoebe entered, smiling, but her expression changed when she saw Emily. 'Oh, if you have company …' she said, making to go.

'No, Phoebe, stay,' said Rachel firmly. 'Emily needs some support right now.' She turned to Emily. 'I don't think we can keep this entirely to ourselves.' Emily nodded.

'Why, what's going on?' said Phoebe. 'Is the baby okay?'

'The baby's fine,' said Emily, 'but I'm not sure my marriage is.'

'She's afraid Ross may be seeing someone,' said Emily. 'That someone could even be Julie. But we have no hard evidence, just Ross's behaviour.'

'Oh my God!' said Phoebe, sitting down hard. 'Oh, that bastard!'

'Take it easy, Pheebs,' said Rachel. 'Like I said, we have no proof.'

'I can _easily_ believe it of him,' Phoebe growled. 'He doesn't seem to be the man I used to know. Why would he do this?'

'It's all this stuff that we had the other day about not respecting his work,' said Rachel. 'He seems to have included Emily in that, while Julie, of course, can swap dinosaurs with him all day.'

'You're not … putting him off because of the pregnancy?' said Phoebe to Emily.

'On the contrary,' said Emily. 'It's me that wants it, and he doesn't seem to, much.'

'You feeling horny?' said Phoebe. 'I remember that.'

Emily giggled. 'Like you wouldn't believe. I've been dreaming.'

'Anyone we know?' said Phoebe, arching her eyebrows. Rachel had noticed before that she loved this kind of talk.

'Well,' said Emily, 'no guys, not even Joey or someone you don't know except in the dream. It's Rachel mostly, Monica occasionally, sometimes other girls, even you once.' She giggled again.

'Oh cool!' cried Phoebe, apparently delighted. 'Was I good?'

'Really, you guys, is this the kind of conversation we should be having when Emily's marriage may be on the ropes?' said Rachel sternly.

'Yes,' said Emily firmly. 'I want to think about something else. We can't find out any more just now, though I wonder if you've noticed anything in Ross's manner, Phoebe – or Julie's, come to that.'

'I haven't seen Julie around Central Perk lately,' said Phoebe.

'Thinking about it, neither have I, but that needn't mean anything,' said Rachel. Emily nodded.

'As for Ross,' – Phoebe frowned – 'yes, he has seemed a bit out of it, and also more irritable than usual. So, what's to be done?'

'I'm going to see what I can find out in a discreet kind of way,' said Rachel. 'Maybe you could too, Phoebe. But can we bring Monica into this, or Janice, who knows Julie well?'

'Let's keep it between us for now,' said Phoebe. 'I can do discreet.'

'Well, let's hope it's just Ross flirting more than he should,' said Rachel.

'Ross flirting?' said Phoebe derisively. 'This is a gag, right?'

Emily giggled. 'Oh Phoebe, you are good for me.' She looked across at Rachel. 'So are you, my dearest Rachel, in a different way.'

'Do you wanna go down to Central Perk, see who's there?' said Phoebe.

'Didn't you want to see me about something?' said Rachel.

Phoebe waved her hand dismissively. 'It'll keep.'

'Okay, then, let's go,' said Rachel. 'Just let me get some clothes for outside.'

As it turned out, they were the first into Central Perk. Making the best of it, they got large coffees and settled down to chat about anything that came to mind. Rachel noticed that after a while Phoebe turned the conversation to Emily's baby, but she did not feel there was anything worrying about this. Phoebe did not seem to be upset in any way, but rather to enjoy the discussion, and it was clearly cheering Emily considerably. Then others began to drop in, first Chandler and Monica, then Joey, then, to Rachel's slight surprise, Janice and Julie together. She began to observe Julie carefully. She seemed to be both excited and uneasy at the same time, and to be avoiding Emily's glance.

It was getting on towards dinnertime, and suddenly Emily said, 'Oh my God, I've done _nothing_ about a meal. Ross will _kill_ me!' She jumped up, but just at that moment Ross came in. She rushed to him, babbling apologetically. He smiled and shook his head at her.

'Thought I'd find you here, gossiping with your "mates",' he said. 'Never mind. We can go out to eat.'

Rachel quickly glanced at Julie and caught her with her gaze fixed on Ross, a painfully intense expression on her face. Oh oh, thought Rachel, _one_ person's in love, for sure. But she could not detect anything comparable in Ross's behaviour towards Julie. If anything, this made her feel more angry towards Ross. If he was oblivious to the fact that Julie was in love with him, he was not treating either woman as they deserved. She managed to move next to Janice, and touched her on the shoulder. Janice turned and beamed at her. 'Hi, Rach, what's up?'

'I was hoping you could tell me that,' said Rachel quietly, 'but about Julie.'

Janice's face closed. 'I can't say anything about that,' she said shortly. Rachel nodded; Janice's reaction only confirmed her suspicions. 'That's okay, Janice. I respect that. So, how's your kid?'

Janice smiled again, and burst into a catalogue of her child's virtues. Rachel nodded and smiled, while trying to keep an eye on Ross and Julie. At one point she thought she spotted an exchange of significant glances, but there was nothing conclusive on Ross's side.

Eventually they split up into groups to eat. Julie tagged along with Ross and Emily, but so did Janice and Phoebe, while Rachel and Joey made up a foursome with Chandler and Monica. Rachel did not voice her suspicions, but instead made a determined effort to banish care, to such good effect that she finally found herself in bed with Joey, rather drunk but happy to be there. Joey was touchingly pleased that she should be willing to make love with him, after a rather long break, and gave of his best, to her delight. When they finally fell asleep, she slept well.


	3. Emily Sings the Blues

Chapter 3: Emily Sings the Blues

In the following days the situation remained unclear. The one development that did occur was that Phoebe took to actively wanting Emily's company, which seemed to please Emily and which Rachel welcomed, although she did not entirely understand it. But Phoebe seemed a lot happier, which was surely a good thing. Then, two weeks after Emily had come to Rachel, she and Phoebe were sitting in Phoebe's apartment chatting, when they heard a clatter of feet outside, then pounding on the door. 

'Phoebe, are you there? Oh, please be there!' came Emily's anguished voice. Phoebe leaped to her feet and opened the door. Emily almost fell into her arms, sobbing incoherently. Rachel was strongly reminded of the time that she had run to Phoebe, over a year ago now.

'There, there, honey, what on earth's the matter?' said Phoebe, but her eyes met Rachel's over Emily's head, each seeing the same thought written in the other's eyes.

'It's all true!' cried Emily. 'It's all tru-u-ue!' She broke down again. Rachel could not bear it; she went to hug Emily, tears welling in her own eyes. They both tried to calm Emily down with kisses and soothing words. Finally Phoebe got her to sit down, but she had to keep hugging her.

'We had just had some lunch,' said Emily, still sobbing occasionally, 'and I had noticed that he seemed very moody, so I asked if anything was the matter, and he … he just came out with it. He had fallen in love with Julie, he said, and he realised that … that they were meant for each other, and … and I didn't stop to hear any more, but ran straight out, and … and almost at once I thought of … of coming to you. I'm s-sorry.'

'You have nothing to be sorry for,' said Phoebe warmly, kissing her on the cheek. 'But as for Ross  –  just wait till I get my hands on him!'

Rachel got out her cell phone and dialled Julie's number. When Julie answered, she seemed rather out of breath. Trying to sound as calm as possible, Rachel said, 'Julie, it's Rachel. Is Ross there?'

There was a gasp, then silence at the other end. 'I'll take that as a yes,' said Rachel. 'I'm at Phoebe's, and we have Emily here. Julie, how could you?'

'I'm sorry, Rachel,' said Julie, sounding sincere. 'I didn't mean this to happen. But Ross is the only man I've ever really loved, and we have so much in common. At first it was just talk about our work – he can't talk to any of you, and it does frustrate him – but when things started going wrong between him and Emily –'

'Julie, she's his _wife, she's pregnant with his __child,' said Rachel furiously. 'And what was going so wrong anyway? Just because she wouldn't worship his goddamn dinosaurs –'_

'That's not the basic problem,' Julie broke in, rather sharply. 'Look, Rachel, I know you've put a lot into trying to save this marriage, but you don't know everything. The way I see it, too much was said when they were first quarreling. Also, you must forgive me for saying so, but it was _not a good idea to take Emily to bed, however much good it did her and, for a while, the marriage. You know how Ross is; he broods over things.'_

'I know,' Rachel agreed sadly. They were both silent for a moment.

'So,' said Julie finally. 'Look, I'm really sorry for Emily, and I'll help any way I can. But I've been given a second chance of happiness with the man I love, that I never expected, and I'm _not letting it go. __Don't try to separate us.'_

Rachel held onto her temper. 'Well, that's great – for you. At least, I suppose it is. I just hope you have better luck with Ross than Emily or I have done.'

Feeling rather mean, but also justified in her deliberate attempt to plant doubt in Julie's mind, she rang off and looked over to Phoebe and Emily, to see that both were looking at her with some admiration.

'Nice one, Rachel,' said Phoebe. 'That will have goosed her some.'

'Clearly, this was a match made in Jurassic Park,' said Rachel, surprising a laugh out of them. 'Julie obviously feels very guilty about you, Emily. She said she'd help any way she could. You know I will, and I hope the rest of us girls will too. In fact, if you want to move out of Ross's apartment, I'm sure Monica would let you stay in her spare room.'

'Well, I certainly can't stay in Ross's place,' said Emily. 'It's so very much his. I would be reminded all the time. But I'd rather stay with you than with Monica, if you'd let me. She is his sister, after all – and I'm not sure I could live up to her standards.'

Rachel's phone rang. She picked up, to hear Ross's voice, thick with rage.

'Rachel, _what did you say to Julie? She's done nothing but cry since.'_

'Why, simply that I hoped she had better luck with you than Emily or I had done,' said Rachel coolly.

'Rachel, that was _mean,' Ross shouted, 'when you know she's feeling bad about this.'_

'_She's feeling bad?' Rachel exploded. 'How do you think __Emily feels?' She tried to calm down. 'She's carrying your child, Ross. Are you going to walk away from that? Do you want to be a part-time father to __another child – through your own goddamn fault, this time?'_

'You can't stop this, Rachel,' said Ross hotly. 'But I won't abandon my child. I'll do the right thing.'

'The right thing would have been never to get involved with Julie in the first place!' Rachel shouted. 'I don't blame her so much – she has obviously been carrying a torch for you – but you, Ross, are behaving like an absolute _bastard. I had plenty of respect for you once, but I certainly don't __now!'_

She hit the off button viciously and grinned at the other two, who were staring at her open-mouthed.

'I've never heard you get so mad,' said Phoebe in apparent admiration. 'If you're like that at work, I bet you get them jumping.'

Rachel smiled a little ruefully. 'I could never be like that at work. But I was so _angry for you, Emily – maybe because I so wanted you to succeed where I had failed.'_

'Oh Rachel!' said Emily, breaking down again. Rachel started across to her, but stopped when Phoebe, arms still wrapped protectively around Emily, gave her a glance, then kissed Emily on the top of her head. 'There, Emily, there,' she said. '_We love you still, and we'll help you all we can.'_

'Oh, Phoebe, you're so kind,' Emily wailed, 'but what am I going to do? Basically, I'll be on my own, with no job and very little money. How can I go through with this?' She shook her head violently. 'But I _don't want to go home with my tail between my legs.'_

'No need for that,' said Phoebe. 'I have the perfect solution. You shall come and live here with me.'

Emily looked at her. 'But … but … the baby?'

'I _want the baby,' said Phoebe fiercely. 'It's time you knew, Emily. Ever since you announced that you were pregnant, I have been __so jealous. As Rachel can tell you, it's been tearing me up. If I could have you and the baby with me – well, I wouldn't ask for more.'_

Emily looked at Phoebe in surprise. 'You _want to have a baby around?'_

'I'd _love it,' said Phoebe emphatically. 'I'm happy to, like, leave the labour to you, and I guess it's best for you to feed it until it's weaned, but I'll do my share of everything else.'_

'But will that be enough for you?' said Rachel in a worried tone. 'It will still be Emily's baby. She's not giving birth to one for you.'

'I hope it will be enough,' said Phoebe, smiling at her.

'Don't worry, Rachel,' said Emily. 'From what I hear about it, I will probably be only too glad to have Phoebe share in all the donkeywork, and to have someone with me all the time – that would be _marvellous!' she finished enthusiastically, and gave Phoebe a very warm hug. 'But,' she went on, her face clouding, 'what will we do for money?'_

'Ross ought to support you,' said Rachel. 'He said he'd do the right thing; let's hope he means it. If you went to court, you could get everything, up to and including his left ball.'

Emily snickered, then looked serious. 'I hope it won't come to that.' She swiped a hand across her eyes. 'Look, do you mind if I sing? I have to let some of this out.'

'Go right ahead,' said Phoebe eagerly. 'I'll get my guitar.'

'You don't have to,' said Emily. 'But if you want to join in – ' Without more ado she threw her head back and sang a verse from Wildwood Flower:

'He taught me to love him and promised to love

And cherish me over all others above.

I woke from my dream and my idol was clay,

And my portion of loving had all passed away.'

Tears were trickling down her cheeks, but her voice held.

'That's not the way Joan Baez sang it,' said Phoebe uncertainly.

'No,' said Emily, 'but I found these words, and I think they're better.'

She went on to sing old songs of lost love – Early One Morning, There Is A Tavern In The Town, Have You Seen My Dear Companion? – her voice seeming to improve with each song, but when she started on Careless Love she stopped abruptly. The others rose to go over to her, but she waved them away and sat visibly trying to control herself.

'This isn't working,' she said finally. 'It's only making me feel worse. I never guessed how it would affect me when singing these songs for real. I'll have to sing something else.'

She went into That's What You Get For Loving Me with a splendidly cynical tone, and followed it with a medley of progressively more cheerful songs, until she had Rachel and Phoebe joining in the chorus of Maids, When You're Young, Never Wed An Old Man, and shrieking with laughter at the conclusion. '_That's better,' she said in a satisfied tone. 'I haven't sung so much in a long while.'_

They noticed a loud noise from outside. Phoebe opened the door, to find many of her neighbours gathered, all applauding wildly.

'What great singing!' one man said. 'Who's your friend, Phoebe?'

'This is Emily,' said Phoebe. 'She's British, but she can sing anything. Hey, that gives me an idea! Emily, why don't you team up with me, and we'll sing at Central Perk? I'll bet people would come to hear you sing.'

'Well, I sure would,' said the one who had spoken, and others agreed loudly.

'Come tonight!' cried Phoebe. 'Bring your friends!'

They went away, promising that they would, and Phoebe shut the door and turned, beaming, to Emily. 'I'm sure we could get Gunther to pay you,' she said. 'You have a real talent.'

Emily looked unhappy. 'But, Phoebe, that's your spot. I couldn't expect you to share it.'

'I'll share the singing if you share the baby,' said Phoebe, beaming even more.

'Oh Phoebe!' cried Emily, and she ran over to embrace her and give her a kiss on the cheek. Phoebe looked slightly embarrassed, unusually for her. Emily drew back and looked at her with a fond expression, then turned to Rachel. 'Let's go down to Central Perk and see if Gunther will hire me to sing. I feel like _doing something.'_

'Yeah, let's,' said Phoebe. 'And if Ross is there, don't worry. I'll kick his sorry ass to kingdom come.'

'You'll have to get in line,' said Rachel darkly. 'Seriously, guys, I'm afraid this is going to bust up the gang. Monica's bound to side with Ross, isn't she, and where she goes Chandler will follow.'

'I wouldn't be so sure,' said Phoebe. 'She likes Emily as much as we do. More likely, she'll run herself ragged trying to keep in with both sides.'

'I won't be angry with her if she does that,' said Emily. 'It's only natural she should try to stay friends with Ross. And I don't want you beating up Ross, unless he behaves really badly. He's still the father of my child.'


	4. Emily Sings a Great Many Things

Chapter 4: Emily Sings A Great Many Things

When they entered Central Perk, Ross was not there, to their relief, nor was anyone else apart from Chloe, who was looking rather lonely. When she saw them she sprang to her feet with a happy face and embraced Rachel. 'I was afraid no one would come, when it was my first time here in ages,' she said. 'It's so good to see you, Rachel – and you too, Phoebeand Emily,' she added hastily. Then she peered more closely at Emily. 'Is everything okay?'

Emily looked pleadingly at Rachel. 'Can you tell her, while Phoebe and I talk to Gunther?' she said. 'I don't think I can face it.'

'Of course, honey,' said Rachel. 'Get me a large latte, would you?'

'What's going on?' said Chloe, looking worried.

'Ross is leaving Emily,' said Rachel quietly. 'He's in love with Julie.'

Chloe looked at her in shock. Then her face crumpled and she began to cry.

'Why, Chloe,' said Rachel, moving to hug her again. 'Why does this upset you so?'

'It's been so great this year,' Chloe wailed. 'I've been so happy, being part of your group, even though I couldn't come in very often. Now it'll all break up, won't it?'

'It's bound to change, but most of us will stick together,' said Rachel, patting her comfortingly. 'Emily's going to live with Phoebe.'

'Oh, that's good,' said Chloe, fishing for a handkerchief. 'But I'm so sorry to hear that about Ross. I had thought better of him.'

'Me too,' said Rachel. 'We're here to see if Gunther will pay Emily to sing.'

'Oh goody!' cried Chloe, cheerful again. 'I _love_ hearing her sing.'

Emily and Phoebe came over carrying cups of coffee and a plate of cookies, all smiles. 'He wants me to try a song or two now,' said Emily. 'Would you help set up, Rachel?'

'I'll even introduce you,' said Rachel, jumping up. She ran over to the counter. '_Thanks_, Gunther,' she said. 'You won't regret it. Emily's a very fine singer.' She seized his head and gave him a grateful kiss. Gunther seemed to reel, and a blissful smile spread over his face. 'Any time, Rachel,' he said in a dazed way. 'Any time.' Not for the first time, Rachel suspected he had a crush on her, but this was not something she could devote any thought to now.

There were not all that many customers in Central Perk, but they showed some interest as the microphone was set up and chairs rearranged. As people who had nothing better to do on Sunday afternoon than sit in a coffee shop, they welcomed any diversion. Just before they started, Joey came in with a woman on his arm. Hastily, Rachel explained what was going on. Joey looked distressed.

'Man, what _is_ it with Ross?' he said in honest bafflement. 'Why does he have to make his life so complicated?'

'Nobody knows, Joey,' said Rachel. 'I don't. Monica doesn't. I doubt if he does.' Then she saw Phoebe beckoning to her urgently. She gave her a wave and, thinking of something, rushed over to Gunther again. 'Any requests?' she said. 'Emily knows all kinds of songs. Just ask for a type of song.'

'A love song,' said Gunther, gazing at her soulfully. 'A nice one, not a sad one.'

Rachel relayed this to Emily, who nodded. 'I know just the thing,' she said, and bent down to Phoebe. Rachel took the microphone and said, 'Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of Central Perk, I would like to present – Emily.'

Emily stepped up to the microphone as Phoebe played some quiet chords, and said, 'Euan McColl's The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.' Her voice hit the first line faultlessly, and the whole coffee shop went silent. Close to her, Rachel could see a sheen of tears in her eyes, but she completed the song without faltering. There was loud applause, led by Joey's girlfriend Amanda, who cried, 'More! More!' Several of the other customers did so too. 'Give us an Irish song,' one shouted.

Emily grinned and launched into the rollicking song The Old Woman of Wexford, as sung by The Dubliners, to a great whoop from the customer who had called out. By the second chorus, everyone was joining in, even Gunther, and Phoebe began improvising on the tune at the end of each verse like a woman possessed.

'D'ya know annythin' else Irish?' cried the same customer, who was evidently Irish himself.

'Any amount,' said Emily, grinning at him. 'But let's see what other people might want.'

'The Battle of New Orleans,' called another customer.

Emily grinned even wider. 'You'll never throw me that way,' she said. 'It's too long ago to care about. Here goes:

In eighteen-fourteen we took a little trip, Along with General Jackson down the mighty Mississipp …'

She sang the humorous, if slightly unfair, song about the American defeat of a British army with a gusto that earned her even more enthusiastic applause. When she was done, everyone shouted requests, including some recent arrivals. She held up her hands and looked at Gunther enquiringly.

'You're hired,' he said. 'Keep going as long as you want. Do you want a drink?'

'Something cool for my throat,' she said. 'I don't suppose you can do a jug of punch?' She laughed, and started on the song of that name. Again, everyone joined in the chorus.

'This is _fabulous_,' said Chloe. 'I knew she was good, but – '

'It's great therapy for her,' said Rachel, watching Emily fondly.

Emily sang a dozen more songs of very varied type, none of them sad, before she finally said that she would have to give her voice a rest. By that time Central Perk was absolutely crowded, and many customers gathered round to praise her and ask if she knew particular songs. Amanda showed herself keen to talk to her. 'You ought to go professional,' Rachel said her say. 'You can do far better than this.'

'I'll be having a baby in five months or so,' said Emily. 'That's not a good base for going professional.'

'Well, I can get you better gigs than this,' Amanda said, 'and maybe a recording contract. Here's my card, if you're interested.'

Emily thanked her, then turned to Phoebe and hugged her. 'Great backing,' she said. 'I hope you don't feel I've stolen your thunder.'

Phoebe shook her head. 'It's a real charge, playing for you. I love it.' She paused, then said rather diffidently, 'If you do gigs elsewhere, could I come along and – maybe do one of my songs now and then?'

'Of _course_ you can,' Emily cried. 'Phoebe, how could I _possibly _not let you come along, when you've been … you've been so …' Suddenly she broke down into tears again. Immediately Phoebe put her arms round her and said, 'We'll make a great team.' Emily leaned into her shoulder, and everyone tactfully looked elsewhere.

Just then Monica and Chandler came in. Monica was looking rather strained. She caught Rachel's eye and made her way over. 'Ross rang,' she said simply. 'What's going on here?'

Rachel explained briefly. Monica sighed. 'It's just as well she's moving in with Phoebe,' she said. 'I would have given her the spare room, but it would have been very awkward. Oh God, Rach, what a mess! You were right: it was all too good to last.' There were tears in her eyes.

Rachel pulled her into a hug. 'Things could be worse,' she murmured. 'Emily may have fallen on her feet.'

'I don't want us to break up,' said Monica tearfully. 'I'm very fond of Emily, but can I keep seeing her and Ross?'

'That's up to him,' said Rachel. 'But there can't be a complete break. The child is his, and you're its aunt.'

Bonnie entered Central Perk at that moment. She gaped at all the people and pushed her way over to Rachel and Monica. 'What's up?' she said. Rachel told her, feeling that every time she explained she got through in fewer words. Bonnie's face set, and suddenly she fisted one hand and drove it into the other palm, very hard. '_Ooh_, couldn't I hang one on him!' she growled.

'Emily's going to sing again,' Phoebe called to them. They settled on the floor in a huddle, prepared to be thoroughly entertained, and they were not disappointed. Before she started again, Emily explained that she did not sing country and western songs, although she did tell the audience what happened when you played a country and western song backwards, which got quite a laugh [_for those who don't know, your dog comes back, your girl comes back, and your pickup truck starts working again_]. She also stated that she rarely sang pop songs and was not in the mood to sing any kind of love song, though later she did sing Long Time Gal (Me Never See You), saying that it was because she loved the tune, and followed it with Yellow Bird. She sang examples of every other kind of song made popular by the great folk singers and folk and skiffle groups – work songs, prison songs, travelling songs, cowboy songs, railroad songs, blues songs, cradle songs, humorous songs, traditional standards, modern classics. It was the performance of a lifetime, and the enthralled audience, now including people gathered in the doorway and the street outside, instinctively knew it. Even if they did not thoroughly understand, they responded with enormous enthusiasm. Finally, pleading voice strain, Emily led the audience in a thunderous performance of the Wild Rover – in which the occupants of a police car, that had stopped to see what all the noise was about, joined with great gusto – and then bowed out, to massive and prolonged applause and loud expressions of delight from everyone present. The Irishman, who introduced himself as Mike Sheehan, wanted to take her and all her friends off to an Irish bar where there was singing, but Emily refused politely, saying she was quite sung out for now, but would be happy to drop by another time. He accepted this without argument, but insisted, despite her protests, on taking up a collection for her, to which many of the customers were eager to contribute, more than one saying it had been as good as any folk concert.

The crowd had thinned out a good deal when Ross finally arrived with Julie and Janice. Emily was engaged in serious discussion with Amanda and did not see them, but the others did. Rachel, Phoebe, Bonnie and Chloe formed up in a solid phalanx facing Ross, with expressions varying from scornful to angry, while Chandler, Monica and Joey hovered nearby, looking very serious. Ross and Julie seemed to flinch, and Janice stepped protectively in front of them.

'Now, you guys,' she said. 'I know it's bad, but name-calling and beating on Ross is not going to _help_. Rachel, can we do some serious negotiating?'

'I want in on this,' said Monica. 'I have a considerable interest.'

Rachel turned to Emily, who had now seen Ross and was very pale. 'Do you trust me to represent your interests, Emily?'

'Always,' said Emily, with a loving glance. She turned to Phoebe. 'While Ross is here, perhaps we could go and get some of my stuff from the apartment, and then have a meal. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.'

'Yeah, fine,' said Phoebe. 'Bonnie, Chloe, you wanna help out?'

Chloe nodded eagerly, and Bonnie said, 'Sure. Don't worry, Ross,' she added, 'I won't smash any of your precious fossils, much as I'd like to.' She laughed derisively.

'Joey, we should help too,' said Amanda. 'The more of us there are, the quicker it will be.'

Joey looked uneasily at Ross, who shrugged. 'Don't worry about it, Joe. So, Emily, you're moving out?'

Emily nodded, clearly not trusting herself to speak. 'She's coming to live with me,' said Phoebe fiercely, 'like you care what happens to her, you … you …' She took a step forward, her eyes flashing.

'Now, now,' said Janice, holding up her hands, and Rachel said quietly, 'Go along, Pheebs. I'll handle this.'

Emily and her helpers trooped out, leaving Janice, Ross, Julie, Rachel, Monica and Chandler. They arranged themselves around a table. Ross was looking very uneasy.

'Okay,' said Rachel, 'one thing's already settled, which is where Emily is going to live. I guess the rest will have to be settled legally, but if we can reach a preliminary agreement here on what seems reasonable, it can all be done with a minimum of fuss and expense.' She looked at Ross calmly.

He seemed surprised. 'That's it? You're not going to yell at me?'

'I already did that, on the phone,' said Rachel in a level voice. 'I will if you like, but what good would it do? Would it change your mind?' She looked at him closely. 'You _are _making a commitment to Julie, aren't you?'

'Well, yeah,' he said, appearing totally disconcerted.

'Well, yeah,' she repeated tonelessly. 'Sounds like a _real_ strong commitment.' She sighed. 'Ross, can you _never_ make up your mind what it is you really want? Please don't tell me you're going to pull this gag of being in love with two people again? It wasn't funny the first time.'

Suddenly Ross looked mad. 'It wasn't funny, no, and whose fault was that? If you could _only_ have kept your feelings about me to yourself until they died a natural death, none of this need have happened, and I would have been with the person I was meant to be with all along – Julie.' He put an arm around her and pulled her close. Julie, who had been looking very unhappy, smiled and relaxed against him. 'You know, Rach,' he went on in a quieter tone, 'when I think of my time with you and Emily, it's like a dream. A beautiful dream, most of the time, but this,' he hugged Julie again, 'this feels like _reality_.' He frowned. 'Why are you smiling?'

'Because you're making sense,' Rachel said, 'though it's just as well Emily didn't hear that you think of her as only a dream, however beautiful. But you've made clear that you _have_ decided what you really want. I can't quarrel with that.'

'But there's still Emily's child,' said Monica rather impatiently. 'You can't have a clean break.'

'Yes,' said Rachel, 'and it's going to cost you, Ross. I'm sorry, but alimony payments will bite deep into your income. You and Julie won't be able to live in much style.'

Julie shrugged. 'I don't care. As long as I'm with Ross – '

'Well, there's this: it may mean having to delay starting a family,' said Rachel, 'and you ought to be aware of that right now. But let's talk figures. Janice, you can advise us here, since you've been through the mill.'

'Right,' said Janice, and they settled down to facts and figures. Ross, who had not been expected to contribute in a really major way to Ben's support so far, looked stunned at the suggestions of what he might have to pay. But Rachel recognised that there were limits to what could reasonably be expected, and they reached an outline agreement amicably enough.

'Rach,' said Ross, smiling at her as he and Julie rose to go for a meal on their own, 'the reason I was so hesitant at the start – it's kinda hard to adjust to you like this. You're so _adult_. When you were on the phone – well, that was more like the old you.'

'I've had to do a lot of growing up emotionally, this past year,' said Rachel. 'And not before time, some might say. I'm sorry for what I said on the phone; that was regressing. But I was really mad.'

'That's okay,' said Ross. 'I know I deserved it. Well, be seeing you.' Julie smiled at Rachel a little shyly and gave a wave as they left.

Janice heaved a great sigh of what seemed to be relief. 'That went better than I _expected_. Can we go eat now? I'm _famished_. This emotional stuff really takes it out of you.'

'I don't feel like a restaurant meal,' said Rachel. 'Can we just order some in, and maybe eat at your place, Monica?'

'Sure,' said Monica, smiling at her. As they walked back to the apartment, Monica dropped into step beside Rachel. 'Thanks for not sticking it to Ross,' she said quietly. 'I know he's behaved badly, but he _is_ my brother, and I still love him. I think it will work out with Julie, but I'm so sorry for Emily. She gave up a lot to marry Ross.'

'I think things will work out for her, too,' said Rachel. 'At least she won't be alone.'

'Thanks to you!' said Monica, suddenly embracing her fiercely. 'Who would have thought, when you came into Central Perk in your wedding dress all those years ago – '

'Yeah,' said Janice, who had clearly been listening. 'Let me have a hug too. I thought you would be mean to Julie, but you never put a foot wrong. I love to see her so _happy_, you know.'

Rachel embraced Janice warmly. 'If it weren't for Emily, I'd be pleased for her too,' she said.

'That looks fun. Can any number play?' said Chandler jokingly.

'Why, Chandler honey!' said Rachel laughingly. 'Here!' She gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, while the others giggled. They went up the stairs speedily, to discover something of a party going on in Joey and Rachel's apartment. Emily and all who had helped her were there.

'Come in, guys!' cried Joey, who was standing in the doorway, evidently waiting for them. 'We've got beer and pizza – what more do we need?'

'Well, we could probably use more beer and more pizza,' said Chandler, 'but all we _need_ is a phone.'

As soon as she could, Rachel sidled over to Emily, who was animatedly discussing the content and whereabouts of possible gigs with Phoebe and Amanda. She gave her the thumbs-up sign, and named the sum that Ross was prepared to contribute.

'Oh heavens!' said Emily. 'I don't need that much – do I?' she asked, turning to Phoebe.

'Sure you do, honey,' said Phoebe. 'Remember how much you'll have to pay for over here, that you get like for free on your British National Health Service, and all the stuff that you'll need for the baby.'

Emily nodded, but still looked dubious. 'I don't want them to hate me.'

'Don't worry about it,' said Rachel. 'Ross didn't kick at all; he knows what he has to do. And remember, Julie's earning too. If you make good money out of this singing thing, maybe you can afford to ease off a bit, but legally that's the least you could expect.'

'Oh, I hope I can make money out of singing!' said Emily with enthusiasm. 'What a great idea that was, Phoebe. I did so enjoy myself, and it made me feel so much better.'

'Well, let's see how you like doing it on a regular basis,' said Phoebe. 'But for now, let's forget everything and _party_! We got all of Emily's stuff to my place,' she said to Rachel, 'so, like, no problems there.'

And party they did. Emily seemed possessed by a mood of wild hilarity which infected all the others. After a fair amount of beer and pizza had been consumed, they began singing again. Emily challenged everyone to come up with funny or crazy songs, preferably with a chorus, and in almost all cases she proved to know the song and helped out when their memories were shaky. Phoebe sang Homer and Jethro's How Much Is That Hound Dog In The Window? to a chorus of barks, while Amanda knew the Bonzo Dog Band's In The Canyons of Your Mind, Rachel gave a very successful rendition of Tom Lehrer's Wiener Schnitzel Waltz, and Joey sang Burl Ives's The Eddystone Light (since this begins with the singer's father sleeping with a mermaid, everyone agreed that this was absolutely to be expected of Joey). Chloe contributed The Zombie Jamboree, and at Emily's insistence did the movements for the 'back to back, belly to belly' chorus with her. Janice came up with the spendidly lugubrious Isn't It Grand, Boys, To Be Bloody Well Dead, which she remembered hearing at a Clancy Brothers concert in New York when she was a teenager. Chandler, of all people, sang Monty Python's Lumberjack Song, and finally Monica led the whole party in the Monster Mash. This had everyone vying with each other to produce the most blood-curdling laughter at the end, which caused so much noise that some neighbours came up to complain, but Emily quickly placated them and drew them into the party. Later, one sang the 'drunk' takeoff of I Walk The Line, causing even more hilarity.

As they stood to one side, watching Emily fondly, Phoebe muttered to Rachel, 'I hope she isn't fey.'

'What's that, Pheebs?' said Rachel.

'It's something that comes up in the old stories,' said Phoebe. 'You have this kind of mad gaiety, but it's unlucky because, because …' – she wrinkled her brow trying to remember – 'oh God, Rachel, because on some level you, like, foreknow you're going to die! Emily's not going to die, is she?' She gazed at Rachel with painful apprehension, as if she truly believed it could happen.

Rachel thought for a moment. 'I think it's her marriage that's dying,' she said soothingly.

Phoebe's face cleared. 'Of course! You're so _smart_, Rachel! Oh, I'm so relieved.' She gave her a hug.

'That's fine, Pheebs,' said Rachel, patting her on the back. 'But I do think Emily could be overdoing it just a bit. Maybe it's time for this party to draw to a close.'

They moved over to Emily, who beamed at them and flung her arms round Phoebe first, then around Rachel, to whom she further gave a very sexy kiss. 'What about that raincheck now?' she said meaningfully.

Rachel smiled. 'It's tempting, but frankly, Emily, I'm bushed, and I think you must be tired too. Remember, you need to take care of yourself and not overdo it, for the baby's sake.'

Emily looked at her mischievously, and sang:

'I'll dance and I'll sing and my life shall be gay: I will banish this weeping, drive troubles away.   
I'll live yet to see him regret that dark hour When he won, then neglected, his frail wildwood flower!'

She danced a few steps as she sang, but then stopped and said, 'When did you get so sensible, Rachel? But you're right, of course.' She stroked Rachel's cheek. 'One last song, and then we'll go, Phoebe.'

'Sure,' said Phoebe, 'just as you like.'

Emily thought for a moment, then launched into The Sloop John B, which was quickly picked up by everyone else. It was a good song to end with, and people began leaving once it was over. Emily went round hugging all her friends. When she came to Rachel she gave her an especially warm hug and said, 'You'll never know how much your support has meant to me. See you tomorrow in Central Perk.' Then she waved to everyone and left with Phoebe.

Rachel felt a wave of tiredness coming over her and was hoping to get to bed soon, but to her mild dismay she saw that Amanda was evidently intending to stay. That meant a probably noisy night of Joey-love, which was not a pleasing prospect when she had to go to work tomorrow. Involuntarily she sighed as she looked at them.

'Come and use our spare bedroom,' said Monica in her ear. 'I think I can say that things will be pretty quiet. Look at Chandler.'

Rachel looked, and giggled to see him sprawled in one of the loungers, snoring slightly. 'Thanks, Mon,' she said gratefully, kissing her on the cheek, and went to tell Joey where she'd be. After that she got to bed in double-quick time, and sleep overtook her before she could even start in on thinking what an extraordinary day it had been.


	5. Ross Has the Blues

Chapter 5: Ross Has the Blues

Rachel's work phone rang. 'Rachel Green,' she answered in a businesslike tone.

'Can we meet up to talk? I badly need to talk to someone,' said Ross. 'It's not about the divorce,' he amplified. He sounded very subdued.

'You want to talk to _me_?' she said in surprise. Their relations had been polite rather than cordial since the break-up with Emily, on the rare occasions when they had met in Monica's apartment. Neither he nor Julie had shown their faces in Central Perk, a matter of some regret to Rachel.

'You're the best person I can think of,' Ross said. 'You know me, you know Julie, and you handled all that business of the break-up so well. I trust you.'

'Well, sure, Ross, we can talk,' she said, rather flattered. 'Away from Central Perk, right?'

'Yeah,' he said, and sighed deeply.

'You do sound sad,' she commented.

'I am,' he said gloomily, but did not elaborate. 'Can we meet in Monica's apartment, about six?'

'Make it six thirty,' she said. 'I can't always guarantee being home by six these days.'

'Okay,' he said, and rang off.

Wondering what on earth could be bothering him, Rachel decided to do a little detective work. First she rang Monica. 'Any idea why Ross should be sounding like it's the end of the world?' she asked. 'Do you know of any problems with Julie?'

'Why, no,' said Monica, sounding surprised. 'I thought they were happy.'

'Well, he rang me earlier and wanted to talk, so we'll be meeting up in your place later,' Rachel explained. 'He sounded as down as I've ever heard him, and he mentioned Julie.'

'I've heard nothing,' said Monica. 'Want me to ask around?'

'I guess,' said Rachel, 'although I'll try one or two other leads.'

Next she rang Janice's home number, and found her in.

'Hi sweetie,' said Janice enthusiastically. 'What's new?'

Rachel explained again, and asked if Janice of any problems between Ross and Julie.

'Nothing that I know of,' said Janice slowly, 'but then I haven't heard so much from Julie recently. When I last saw her, she seemed very happy.'

Rachel sighed. 'Looks like I'll have to drop it until I talk to Ross.' A thought struck her. 'How do you and Ross get on?'

It was Janice's turn to sigh, which she did with exaggerated emphasis. 'Not so well. He didn't _like_ it that Julie and I had been lovers now and then, and that we're still close. I don't think he's adjusted to the _real_ me, either. But unless he's had a fight with Julie over me, I don't see why that should result in his being _depressed_.'

'I'm sorry to hear that, Janice,' said Rachel sincerely. 'But all the indications are that he has had some kind of fight with Julie. Okay, I'll see you.' She decided to leave it there and wait until the evening.

When Rachel arrived at the apartment Ross was already there, looking very depressed. Behind his back Monica shrugged and put her hand over her mouth, which Rachel guessed to mean that Ross wouldn't talk to her.

'Hi, Ross,' she said brightly. 'Ready to talk?'

Ross smiled in a forced-looking way. 'Yeah, but not here, if you don't mind.'

'What, you won't even talk in front of your own sister?' said Monica, sounding rather hurt.

'Not yet,' said Ross, looking rather shamefaced. 'Besides, Chandler might come in, and we'd have to stop.'

'Let's try next door,' said Rachel. 'Joey may well be out.'

'Okay,' said Ross lugubriously. He got up as if the weight of ages rested on his shoulders and followed her over. As it turned out, Joey was not in. Rachel got herself a cold drink and offered Ross, but he declined. She settled in one of the loungers and said, 'Okay, shoot.'

Ross paced up and down, evidently unsure how to start. Finally he blurted out, 'Julie and I had a fight.'

Rachel, who had been expecting this, waited for him to continue. When he did not, she said, 'That's _all_? Ross, you and I fought sometimes when we were together, like when we were going to hear you give that paper at the museum, but we made up, until the last time. Monica and Chandler have little fights all the time, but they make up. It's not the end of the world.'

'This was a bad fight,' he said.

'What was it about?'

Ross sat down abruptly on the other lounger. 'Well, for one thing she misses you guys.'

'No one's forcing you to stay away from Central Perk,' said Rachel. 'Now that Emily's settled in with Phoebe and is getting good work as a singer, feelings have calmed down. You won't find much hostility.'

Ross shook his head. 'I guess so, but … it's hard to sit there and feel that all you women are judging me, and maybe Chandler and Joey are too. Even Janice, who hangs out with us quite a lot …' he stopped.

'Yes, what about Janice?' Rachel prompted.

Ross looked very uneasy. 'I keep getting this feeling, she only accepts me for Julie's sake. She's always making cracks that seem to undermine me.'

'Well, maybe she feels that you don't like her and is responding,' said Rachel. 'Kind of like what used to go on with you and Susan. You weren't very welcoming to her when she rejoined us, you know, and I can't say you've seemed very friendly to her since. She does have feelings.' She paused, then decided to mention what she suspected lay beneath it all. 'Do you resent it, that she and Julie have been lovers?'

Ross swallowed audibly, but looked down at the floor and did not speak.

'Ross?' she prompted gently.

He looked at her, a very sad expression on his face. 'I suppose I do.'

'And what about me? Does it bother you that I have been a lover of Julie's too?'

Ross made a choking sound and put a hand over his eyes. 'God, Rachel, you're making this hard,' he muttered. 'Yes, I suppose I resent that too. Did you have to?'

'Ross, Julie came on to me,' said Rachel firmly. 'I admit, it was my decision, and I could have said no, but, well, I was all shaken up emotionally, and … anyway, why shouldn't I have? Neither of us knew that you two would get back together again. Why does it bother you so?'

He gulped and said in a burst, 'It just makes me so afraid.'

'Afraid of what?' She kept her voice soft.

'Afraid that she'll go the way that Carol went.' Ross's voice was now definitely shaking, and he kept taking deep breaths. Rachel suddenly realised that he was trying not to cry. 'The way that Emily seems to have gone, the way,' his voice sank almost to a whisper, 'that you have gone too.'

'Oh Ross!' she cried, in a mixture of sympathy and irritation. 'Don't _do_ this to yourself. I thought you were over this, but you're obsessing about it again.'

Ross buried his head in his hands. 'I can't help it,' he moaned, and then he began to cry in earnest, his sobs seeming to shake his whole body. Rachel found that it was just as hard to see a man crying and do nothing as a woman. She crossed over and sat beside him, pulled his head firmly down to her shoulder, and began to stroke his hair, making soothing noises. At first this only seemed to make him cry harder, but she felt that this was probably all to the good, that he would let it all out. While he cried, she thought over what she could say and decided on her approach. When he seemed to be calming down, she began.

'Ross, what would you think of a scientist who classified things together, when they only had one feature in common?'

'Not … much,' he said, sounding a little puzzled.

'Well, that's what you're doing here, isn't it? Okay, Carol left you for Susan. But I started my interest in female lovers _long_ after we'd broken up, when Monica and I were both very unhappy – and maybe I should remind you that I don't _only_ have female lovers. Then again, Emily and I made love that one time when she thought you didn't want her any more, and I wanted to comfort her and make her feel better. After that, she never strayed again while you were together, I swear. So, in each case the circumstances have been different, and now with Julie they're different again. She's leaving a life of occasional lovers to make a commitment to _you_, just as Carol switched sides to make a commitment. But Julie's going the other way. She's decided what she wants – she wants you.'

Ross raised his head from her shoulder. 'You really think so?'

'Yes, I do think so,' said Rachel emphatically. 'I saw the way she looked at you once, back when I only had suspicions. And you must have heard her say to me on the phone that you were the only man she'd ever really loved, that this was a second chance she'd never expected with the man she loved, all that.'

Ross's face brightened considerably. 'No, I didn't hear that. I was trying not to listen.'

Rachel took his hands and squeezed them strongly. 'For heaven's sake believe it, Ross. You know, I think this all goes back to Carol leaving you. It shattered your self-confidence. You keep getting this feeling that we can't _really_ love you. Think how you couldn't even get up the nerve to ask me for a date – though now I think about it, you seem to have had no difficulty with Julie, before or now.'

Ross gave a little smile. 'No, it always seems … easy with her.'

Rachel patted his shoulder. 'There you go. Maybe you're right, and she's the one you were meant to be with all along. Anyway, she really loves you, and you have so much in common, more than Emily or I ever had in common with you. But you must put away the past and never let it influence you again, or you'll never have a stable relationship.'

Ross's smile had broadened. 'Wow, Rachel, you'd make a great counsellor. Okay, I admit it, I get hung up on the lesbian thing, but I see what you're saying: there are big differences in the cases.'

'Yeah,' she said, 'and think of those celebrities who've played both sides and then got married, like Angelina Jolie and Ann Heche. Okay, it doesn't always work out, but maybe that's because the guy is feeling insecure about it, just like you. You have to fight that insecure feeling down and keep believing that Julie is really sincere in her commitment to you and has no interest in anything else. Now you go and find her and tell her you love her and you're sorry and you've been a fool and all that stuff.'

Ross got up decisively. 'I'll do that,' he said. 'Thanks, Rach, you've been a _real_ friend. I'm … I really am truly sorry for all the hurt I've caused you and Emily.' He went out before she could reply.

Rachel felt herself relax when he'd gone. She had tensed up massively while talking to Ross, as if she could physically force understanding and acceptance of what she was saying into him. Only now did she really take in what she had been doing. She, who at one time had thought she could never stop loving Ross, had just spent a fair amount of time persuading him that another woman truly loved and wanted him. She had never had to do that in Emily's case. Then the approach had been oblique, to make Emily feel better and help her to deal with Ross, whom she wanted to see happy. Was she herself really over Ross, then?

She thought about it some more. She realised that his breaking up with Emily had been the point at which her love for him, which she had tried so hard to keep suppressed, had actually begun to disappear, helped, no doubt, by the very low opinion of him that she had developed at the time. So there it was: almost without her noticing, her lingering love had transmuted into simple friendship and sympathy for the mess that he had gotten himself into. Seeing how he tormented himself, she could not help feeling that it was a good thing they had never gotten together again. Any wife of his was not going to have an easy time.

The phone interrupted her musings. It was Julie. 'Is Ross there?' she said abruptly.

'He's just gone,' said Rachel. 'To find you.'

'Oh!' said Julie, sounding taken aback. 'Then he didn't … I mean, you didn't …?' She stopped.

Rachel laughed heartily. 'Sorry, Julie, I know it's not funny, but … no, nothing happened like what you may be imagining. He wasn't trying to get back with me, and I was just realising – and you should be the first to know – any loving feelings I still had for Ross have _all_ gone. No, he wanted to talk about that fight you had; he was all torn up over it. I tried to talk sense into him, and I think I've succeeded. Be gentle with him, Julie. He finds it so hard to believe that we really love him, and if we've had female lovers in the past, his mind goes straight to what happened with Carol.'

'I know,' said Julie, sounding very relieved. 'Oh, Rachel, thank you so much. Do you … do you think it would be okay if we started dropping in at Central Perk again? I do so want to see you all.'

'Sure,' said Rachel. 'I'll try to put the word around that people should lay off. But I have to warn, it may be a bit difficult at first. I don't know how Emily feels, to tell the truth, but I doubt if Phoebe's totally forgiven Ross, and Bonnie is certainly still fierce about it all. But I'll suggest they should leave, if they really can't take being around Ross.'

'How's Emily doing?' said Julie, as if she really wanted to know.

'She's fine,' said Rachel. 'She and Phoebe seem to be getting along very well as roommates, and she's getting more offers of work than she can handle.'

'That's good to know,' said Julie. 'Give everyone my love, then, and say we may drop by.' She rang off.

Rachel sat back and looked within herself again. No, there was no pain. Rather, she felt a growing sense of elation. At last, she was free. The feeling so excited her that she ran over the way and burst in on Monica and Chandler having dinner.

'I'm free!' she cried, doing a little twirl in her excitement, 'I'm really free!'

Chandler looked puzzled, and Monica's brows came down. 'What do you mean, sweetie?' she said cautiously.

'I'm really, truly and for ever over my feelings for Ross,' cried Rachel exultantly, almost jumping up and down to emphasise her words. 'I was there with him for, what, ten or fifteen minutes, and all I felt was sympathy and a wish to help a friend. Oh, you don't know how good it feels!'

'I can see how it feels,' said Chandler, smiling. 'Why don't you calm down and tell us all about it?'

'Yes, do you want something to eat?' said Monica. 'We have plenty.'

Rachel realised that she was indeed very hungry. 'Thanks, I'd love it. I'll just go lock our door. Be right back!' She rushed out. Chandler and Monica looked at each other and smiled. Monica got up to set an extra place and fill a plate.

'That's one good thing to come out of it all, then,' said Chandler.

'Yes, she really had to get over Ross some time,' said Monica. 'I wonder who she'll go for now? Joey, maybe.'

Chandler shook his head. 'I don't think there's anything serious there, on either side.'

Monica looked inclined to disagree, but before she could say anything Rachel rushed in again. She laid into the food with notable appetite and many compliments on the flavour. When she had taken the edge off her hunger she looked up, to see the other two regarding her indulgently. She grinned and said, 'What?'

'You're almost like a teenager,' said Monica. 'I can feel the excitement coming off you.'

'It's so great,' said Rachel. 'It's like a weight had been lifted from my heart. I can love whoever I want now, without feeling guilty.'

'Some might say,' commented Chandler, choosing his words and tone carefully, 'that you were doing that already.'

Monica drew in a breath and frowned at him, but Rachel was not offended. She gave a happy little laugh. 'What, all my girlfriends, you mean, and Joey too? Well, they're all very dear to me, but they're not _really_ serious – not even you, Monica, though you come closest.' She reached across and patted her hand. 'No, I think I need to meet someone new. Ideally, I'd like to be married by the time I'm thirty. I think I'm ready for it.'

Chandler and Monica stared at her open-mouthed. 'Things _are_ going to be different around here,' said Monica finally. 'Well, tell us what went on with Ross.'

Telling it all took some time, by the end of which they had cleared away and washed the dishes. All agreed they were in the mood for dropping in at Central Perk.

(Author's Note: You may think that this is the end … but it's not!)


	6. Everyone Has the Blues at Some Point

Chapter 6: Everyone Has the Blues at Some Point

When Chandler, Monica and Rachel arrived in Central Perk, a rather depressing scene met their eyes. The group was there in force, but it was quite definitely split into two camps. Bonnie sat in the armchair nearest the door, the couch was occupied by Chloe, Emily, and Phoebe, and Janice was in the other armchair, nearest to a table at which Ross and Julie sat, looking rather out of it.  Janice was evidently trying valiantly to keep a general conversation going, but not having much success. Emily was responding to her, but looked rather embarrassed, Phoebe was brooding, apparently trying to pretend that Ross and Julie were not there at all, and Chloe and Bonnie were chatting animatedly to each other. Clearly it would have been better for Ross and Julie to get an all-clear from Rachel before they visited Central Perk again.

Janice looked very relieved to see the new arrivals. '_Hey_, you guys!' she cried with maximum enthusiasm. 'What's new?'

Everyone turned and smiled. Rachel beamed back at them all impartially. Then she looked at Monica. 'Do you think I should tell them?' she said in a low voice.

'Yes, if Ross is okay with it,' said Monica.

'I don't think it's up to him _any_ more,' said Rachel firmly. 'Would you get me a latte?'

'Sure,' said Monica, smiling. Chandler asked for an espresso and went to join Ross and Julie. Rachel leaned on the back of the couch. 'How's my favourite mother-to-be?' she said playfully.

'All the better for seeing you,' said Emily warmly, looking up at her. 'But generally I'm fine.'

'Yeah, well, you're not all of a sudden bursting out crying any more,' said Phoebe, looking daggers at Ross.

'Phoebe!' said Emily sharply, her cheeks flushing. 'I thought we weren't going to mention that!'

'Sorry,' said Phoebe in a tone that suggested the opposite. She looked at Rachel. 'You seem very cheerful tonight.'

'I'm feeling great,' said Rachel, 'and I'll tell you why, although Julie knows, and I expect she's told Ross.' She looked enquiringly at Julie, who made an apologetic face and shook her head.

'Well, anyway,' Rachel continued, undeterred, 'I'm feeling great because I have realised that I am _finally_ over Ross.' She looked at him with a somewhat apologetic smile. 'I'm not trying to put you down, Ross, but this was something I had to do.You're still a good friend, but that's it. And think of it this way: you don't need to worry about me _any_ more.'

This produced a variety of reactions. Emily smiled and patted Rachel on the hand, but Phoebe said, 'Oh, Ross,' in a dismissive way, and Bonnie said, 'Well, I should hope so!' almost viciously. Chloe turned eager eyes on Rachel, as if in hope that they could start a closer relationship. Janice raised an eyebrow and cocked her head quizzically.

'_Really_ over him, for ever?' she said.

'Really and for ever,' Rachel confirmed. She looked at Ross again. He did not seem to be taking it too well – he had his thundercloud-on-the-brow expression – but maybe it was just having their old love brought up so openly and the hostile reactions of Phoebe and Bonnie.__

'Well, that's good,' said Janice briskly. 'You're_ finally_ ready to move on. It can take a_ while_ to get over an old love, though you wouldn't think it, to read about some of these Hollywood stars! It took me a while to get over Chandler.' She winked at him. He grinned weakly back.

'I am so ready!' said Rachel enthusiastically. 'Any of you know some cute unattached man?'

'Sure,' said Monica, finally coming up with Rachel's latte. 'How about Joey?'

Rachel laughed. 'Are you _serious_? I want a one-woman man, if I'm going to get married.'

There were some gasps. 'You're thinking of getting _married_?' said Bonnie incredulously. 'After all you've …' She stopped and looked embarrassed.

Rachel nodded. 'I love all you guys,' she said, 'and I've had a lot of fun, but it's time I thought of settling down. I'm not getting any younger.'

'You might find Joey willing to settle down,' said Monica, now seated at the table by Chandler. 'He has quite a crush on you, you know.'

It was Rachel's turn to be incredulous. 'I thought I'd cured him of that! Sure, we've made love from time to time, but I didn't think he was taking it _seriously_. What do you say, Chandler? You're as close to him as anyone.'

Chandler shook his head. 'I don't know, Rach. He does seem to have a bit of a thing about you, but whether he's ready to settle down …' He glanced at Monica. 'I think not, personally.'

'You can't go marrying Joey!' Phoebe protested. 'He's my backup for if we're, like, forty and still unmarried.'

'Well, that settles it,' said Rachel. 'Can't go cutting out Phoebe.' There were some laughs, but then Chloe spoke up, looking serious and stammering a bit.

'Does it have to be a man? I mean, couldn't you settle down with a female partner?'

'I want a family, Chloe,' said Rachel gently.

'There are ways round that,' Chloe persisted.

Rachel sighed. 'I'm sorry, Chloe. I guess I'm just not brave enough to be that unconventional.' She mentally crossed her fingers, in hope that Chloe would leave it. She did not want to have to tell her in front of all the others that she did not love her enough.

Chloe's face fell. 'Okay,' she muttered, 'I get the message.' Then she felt for her bag and stood up. 'I think I'd better be going.' She looked and sounded as if she was trying not to cry. 'It's been great, you guys – but things have changed, haven't they? The dream's over.' She tried to smile. 'I'll always remember you.'

'Chloe, wait!' said Rachel, but Chloe walked out of the door. Immediately Rachel ran after her.

'_Chloe!_' she called desperately. Chloe turned and looked back; there were tear-tracks down her face. Rachel caught up and flung her arms around her.

'I _don't_ want us to part like this,' she said, near tears herself. 'I'm sorry, really sorry, that I can't love you as you deserve, but …' She ran out of words and just looked at Chloe, deeply unhappy at the pain she was causing her. Chloe looked back, her expression unreadable. Finally Rachel managed to say, 'Please don't walk out of our lives for ever.'

Chloe's face softened. 'Oh Rachel,' she said, 'how can I deny you anything? But if you're going to move on, maybe I should too.'

'Of _course_,' said Rachel. 'But drop by now and then, won't you, please? Bring any new person in your life along. And don't forget, Emily will give birth in less than five months. She'd want you to see the baby.'

Chloe smiled. 'Yes, I don't want to miss that. I'll be in touch, I promise.' She leaned forward and kissed Rachel on the cheek. ' 'Bye, sweetheart.'

Rachel returned to Central Perk feeling a little better, only to find Bonnie and Janice gone too. She looked a question at Monica.

'They said they had to leave,' said Monica, 'and I wasn't about to stop them. Bonnie was in a  bad mood, and I'd had just about enough of Janice's eternal yakking.'

'I think she was trying to cheer us up,' said Julie quietly.

'Time was when we didn't _need_ cheering up,' said Phoebe peevishly, flashing an angry look at Ross.

'Oh yeah?' said Chandler sarcastically. 'As I recall, at least one of us was always bitching about _something_.'

'Is that aimed at me?' said Monica fiercely.

He looked at her in hurt surprise. 'Of course not. Okay, sometimes it was you, but just as often it was me bitching about my lack of dates, or my job, or Rachel about her job, or Joey about his non-starting career, or somebody about some damn thing. What are you getting so defensive about, anyway?'

Monica dropped her eyes and muttered something. Chandler snorted in a derisive way.

Rachel looked round them in dismay. Everyone's expression was either resentful, or angry, or, in Emily's case, just unhappy at the discord among them. She caught Emily's eye. Emily mouthed 'Help!' Rachel nodded.

'Right,' she said, and stood up decisively, though she wasn't clear exactly what she was going to say. 'You know what we're going to do? We're going to go back to Monica and Chandler's, and we're going to make some drinks and … and put on some music, and … and we're going to play some stupid game like, like Twister, or Pictionary, or one of Joey's crazy games, or even have a Foosball tournament … and we won't care _who_ wins,' she gave a meaningful glance at Monica, 'so long as everyone gets to play, and we'll _stop_ all this bickering and bad feeling dead in its tracks, before we start quarreling seriously!'

Emily stood up beside her. 'Best idea I've heard all evening,' she said firmly.

'Come on, Monica, we need you to make the drinks,' said Rachel. 'You too, Phoebe.'

As they got to their feet, looking a little uncertain, Emily swung and pointed at Ross and Julie, to their evident startlement. 'You two as well – you're _not_ to go off and do a Ross-gloom on your own. It won't be like the old days if Ross isn't there.'

'I don't know, Emily …' Ross began, looking taken aback at being addressed directly by her, but he was interrupted by Julie.

'I want to play too,' she said determinedly. 'Rachel's absolutely right.' She got up, smiling at Rachel, and looked down at Ross meaningfully. He hastily jumped up.

'What about me?' said Chandler, although he was already on his feet.

'Oh, I didn't think we needed to tell you,' said Emily merrily. 'Aren't you linked to Monica by some kind of invisible chain? Of course we need you, to make jokes.' Chandler smiled, and Phoebe snickered..

'Yay Emily!' she said. 'Hey, Mon, what was that drink you made the night we saw George Stephanopoulos without his towel?'

'Oh, that _was_ a night,' said Monica, her eyes lighting up. 'We got low, and then we got high. Were you thinking of that, Rach?'

Rachel nodded. 'Among other nights.'

Phoebe said, 'Remember poor Ross coming in with his nose all bandaged up?'

'Hey, yeah,' said Ross animatedly. 'You'll never believe what happened to me that night,' he said to Julie, who smiled at him.

'In this company, I'll believe anything,' she said. 'Weird things are always happening to you guys.'

Chattering increasingly cheerfully, they made their way to the door, where they encountered Joey and Amanda entering.

'Hey you guys, where are you going?' said Joey.

'Back to the apartment to do stupid stuff,' said Monica happily. 'You two should come. It'll be a blast.' She set off determinedly.

Rachel smiled to see her take over. 'That's my Mon,' she said quietly.

Emily came up and linked arms with her. 'You did it,' she said.

'_We_ did it,' Rachel corrected. 'And that was a great thing you did, bringing in Ross and Julie.' She leaned across and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

'It really hardly hurts any more, seeing them together,' said Emily. 'And I can't stay angry with Julie. Maybe I'll be completely over Ross soon, like you. So, how did things go with Chloe?'

'Okay,' said Rachel. 'She'll keep in touch. I reminded her how interested she was in your baby.'

Emily smiled. 'Yes, and Bonnie too. I hope she won't stay away.'

'Oh, I think she'll come round,' said Rachel. 'In fact, I will put some effort into seeing that she does, if it looks needed.'

Emily took her arm and hugged it to her. 'That's my Rachel. You really are our centre.'

Later, as the noise level was rising, Rachel's cellphone rang. She went off into a corner to answer it.

'Rachel,' said Bonnie. 'I want to apologise for walking out on you guys back there … say, what's going on?'

'We're having a kind of party,' said Rachel excitedly. 'It's so much fun! Get your ass over here at once, Bonnie.'

'It didn't look like anyone was in a party mood when I left,' said Bonnie in surprise.

'Oh, well,' said Rachel, 'Emily and I kind of got them going.'

'I'll bet you started it,' said Bonnie affectionately. 'Who's there?'

'Everyone but Janice and Chloe,' said Rachel, 'and look, Bonnie, if Emily can accept Ross and Julie – she actually _told_ them to come and join in – you certainly can.'

'I suppose,' said Bonnie dubiously.

'At least you can be polite,' said Rachel firmly. 'I had to learn that lesson when Ross and I first broke up, and I was acting all aggrieved and refusing to speak to him and trying to make people take my side and all that. For the sake of everyone else, you have to try to get along. Nobody wants to break up the group over this, really.'

Bonnie sighed. 'You're right, you're right. But I don't know, Rachel …'

'I'll give you another inducement,' said Rachel. She tried to make her voice sound as sexy as possible. '_I'll_ be there.'

'Oh, oh, does that mean what I think it means?' said Bonnie, her voice rising.

'It certainly could,' said Rachel, giggling a little at Bonnie's evident excitement. 'Maybe it's about time you received some personal attention.'

'I'm there,' said Bonnie decisively, and closed the connection.

Rachel decided to ring Chloe as well, and found her in. It took little effort to persuade her to come to the party with the friend who shared her apartment. Feeling it would be mean to leave Janice out, Rachel then rang her. She was grateful for the invitation and pleased to hear that harmony had been restored, at least temporarily, but had to refuse as she was now committed to staying at home with her son. Finally, Rachel contacted Carol and Susan, but neither wished to go out. Feeling that she had done all she could, she returned to the rapidly developing party.

-----

Much later, Rachel and Bonnie lay in bed together, arms around each other. Bonnie nuzzled her lovingly. 'That was one hell of a party,' she said. 'And the après-party's great, too. I'm so glad I rang to apologise and got roped in.'

'It was great having you there,' said Rachel, which was no more than the truth. Bonnie had thrown herself into the party with enormous energy and had come up with all sorts of ideas for having stupid fun, which had been received with much enthusiasm. It had been well after midnight when they had finally begun to break up.

'So … despite this, you are going to get yourself a man?' said Bonnie. 'Whatever will we do without you?' Her voice sounded a little sad.

'Why, what you did before, and do much of the time anyway,' said Rachel. 'I'm sorry, Bonnie, but I never intended to do this all my life. Your love and that of the others really did help me to cope with my feelings for Ross, while I had them. But now that's all over, and I want to get into a proper one-to-one relationship. It's not as if you're truly, madly,_ deeply_ in love with me, is it?'

Bonnie sighed. 'No, I admit it. It's just so nice having you there.'

'I'll still be there,' said Rachel, 'only not quite in the same way. Once I find someone, I'll have to stop fooling around, even with Monica.'

'Well, we'll just have to sabotage all your attempts to start something,' said Bonnie, chuckling. Then she patted Rachel's shoulder. 'I hope you realise, I'm kidding. I'd be very happy for you to get married and have kids and everything, just like I'd be happy for me to. You're right, we can't carry on like this for ever.'

'So you're okay with it?' said Rachel.

'Yup,' said Bonnie. She yawned. 'I really need to get some sleep, Rach. Back to work tomorrow.'

Rachel kissed her lightly. 'Sleep well, honey.'

'Thanks to you, I shall,' said Bonnie. She pulled her arms away and rolled over. Rachel smiled and closed her eyes.


	7. Blue Eyes

Chapter 7: Blue Eyes

(Author's Note: I perhaps ought to make clear that I wrote most of this before seeing any of Series 8, so any parallels, e.g. over being aunts and uncles, reflect independent developments of similar ideas. I have no idea how closely I am reflecting hospital practice in the US, or whether the Village Voice runs pictures, but let's just pretend, okay?)

-----

'Why do women let this happen to them?' Emily moaned, as she and Phoebe walked around the waiting room of the maternity ward. 'Why don't they warn each other?' She gasped in relief as the contraction ebbed.

'Sweetheart, there's no other way to get children,' said Phoebe. 'Now come on and be brave. You're doing fine. Remember, I had to get three out of me.'

'But it's taking so bloody _long_!' Emily complained. 'And yours weren't so big, anyway.' She sighed, then said fretfully, 'Where _is_ everyone?'

'Rachel's ringing around,' said Phoebe. 'They'll be here soon, you'll see. You know what New York traffic can be like, even at a weekend. I have to say, it was very convenient of you to go into labour at the weekend.'

'Aaaah!!' gasped Emily as another contraction began. 'They're really coming fast now.'

'That's good,' said Phoebe. 'Now remember your breathing exercises.'

As Emily was trying to relax herself, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Amanda, who by some miracle was still with Joey though their relationship seemed to be fairly loose, came rushing into the room.

'How are you doing?' said Monica, going to embrace Emily.

Emily smiled weakly at her. 'All right, I suppose, but' – she gasped and winced – 'there's still a way to go.'

A nurse appeared in the doorway to the ward. 'Okay, Ms. Waltham, how close together are the contractions?'

Emily looked at Phoebe, who looked back blankly. 'You were supposed to be timing them,' Emily said rather sharply.

'Oops,' said Phoebe sheepishly. 'You know I never, like, get on with time stuff.'

Emily threw up her hands. 'I don't know why I put up with you! Oh well, there really isn't a very long break between them now, nurse, and they last over a minute, I'd say.'

'You'd better come in,' said the nurse. 'Is the father not here yet?' She sounded disapproving.

'No,' said Emily. 'I don't want him anyway. I want my friends.'

'It's the father who should be with you,' said the nurse, sounding even more disapproving. 'Your friends must stay here.'

Emily burst into tears. 'I want Phoebe!' she sobbed, just as Rachel arrived.

'I'm sorry, but unless she's a blood relation it's not usual … ' the nurse began, but she stopped when a very irate Rachel stomped up to her.

'Now listen,' said Rachel. 'Emily's paying for this, and that means she should get to have whoever she damn well wants! Phoebe has been her great support, she went to all the childbirth classes with her, she's given birth herself, and that's _three_ good reasons why she should be with her!' She was shaking her finger in the nurse's face by this time, and the nurse was backing away.

'I'll … ask doctor,' she said, and departed hastily.

'Oh Rachel!' said Emily, throwing herself into her arms, but then she gave a cry of pain as another contraction started.

'Breathe!' cried Phoebe, and started to breathe very emphatically as an example. Concentrating on her breathing calmed Emily down, and then the nurse returned, looking a bit embarrassed, and said that Phoebe could go in with Emily, but nobody else. Emily looked as if she was going to hold out for Rachel as well, but Rachel urged her to go in. 'Call me later if you really need me,' she said.

Not long after they had gone in, another large contingent arrived, Ross, Julie, Carol, Susan and Ben. At first there was a lot of animated chatter as Rachel brought them up to date, and when everything had been thoroughly talked over the arrival of Janice with her son Joseph, whom few of them had seen, provided a welcome distraction. But as the time passed, breaks in the conversation became longer, until the only sounds were coming from the two children, who had begun playing together. Rachel began pacing up and down with an anxious look on her face.

Suddenly the nurse reappeared. 'She wants Rachel,' she said abruptly. Few sprinters could have moved as fast from a standing start as Rachel did then. A door must have been left open, because shortly afterwards everyone heard Emily cry out, and winced. There were further cries.

At a particularly loud one, Ross leaped to his feet. 'Oh my God, I can't stand it! I have to know what's going on. They ought to let me in, I'm the father.'

He marched forward, but Julie jumped in front of him. 'She may not want you just now, Ross,' she said gently. 'Remember, lots of women scream really loudly in childbirth. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong.'

At that point two things happened in quick succession. Bonnie and Chloe came tearing in, demanding to know how things were going, and Phoebe rushed in from the delivery room.

'It's a girl!' she cried. 'With the most beautiful blue eyes you ever saw!' She burst into tears. Everyone crowded round with comforting words and questions, which took Phoebe some time to answer. More time passed before anyone was allowed into the room to which Emily and the baby were moved, but eventually Ross, as the father, and Monica, Carol and Ben as close family were summoned. After a further period of impatient waiting, the rest were allowed in. They found Emily propped up against pillows, the baby in her arms, with Rachel sitting at one side, holding her hand, and Ross standing on the other, tears trickling down his face, while Carol and Monica patted him on the back and Ben looked curiously at the baby.

'She's so beautiful,' Ross was saying. All the women got close and oohed and aahed over the baby.

'Oh God, I want one of those,' said Chloe, with real longing in her voice. 

'So do I,' muttered Monica, too low for Chandler to hear, or so she thought. But he did hear, and gave her a hug. When she turned, he winked at her and said, 'Stranger things have happened,' with his crinkly-eyed smile.

'Aren't her hands tiny?' said Julie wonderingly.

'What are you going to call her?' Janice asked.

Emily looked around, to make sure that they were all listening. 'She will be christened Alison Phoebe Rachel Waltham,' she said firmly.

'Oh how cute!' chorused several of the women, while Rachel and Phoebe simultaneously burst into tears. Both hugged and kissed Emily and thanked her fervently for this honour.

'That's a lot of names for a little person,' said Chandler a bit uncertainly.

'I'd like to have given her more,' said Emily, 'but even in Britain we don't usually have more than three, except in the royal family. And don't forget, you agreed to be godmothers, Rachel and Monica,' she added, beaming at them. 'Maybe I'll go overboard on godmothers. Phoebe, do you want to be one? And how about you, Julie? You can't be a stepmother, really.'

'I'd be honoured,' said Julie quietly.

'Me too,' said Phoebe happily, dabbing at her eyes. 'It's like having a new family.'

Emily's eyes turned to Bonnie and Chloe. 'What about one of you two? I think five godmothers is my limit.'

Bonnie and Chloe looked at each other. 'You want it more,' said Bonnie, smiling in a way that made more than one of those present suspect that there was something between them. 'I'll just be an honorary aunt.'

'And I'm a real one,' said Monica exultantly. 'An aunt twice over!'

'Can I be an honorary aunt too?' said Janice wistfully.

'Of course,' said Emily, smiling. 'You shall _all_ be aunts, and Joey and Chandler shall be uncles. Maybe, when they grow up a bit, Ben and Janice's Joseph and Alison and Phoebe's nephew and nieces can form a group like us. They'll even have some of the same names.'

'Hey, that would be great,' said Joey. 'Just think of all the good advice we could give them.'

Eveyone looked at him, and then all but Amanda burst out laughing, even Emily, though she winced and stopped quickly. Amanda hugged him consolingly.

Just at that point a woman with a notebook and a man carrying a camera peered round the doorway.

'We heard that Emily the singer has had a baby,' said the woman. 'Can we get the story and a picture for the Village Voice?'

'Fame at last,' said Emily a bit tartly. 'Well, you can have a picture, but only if you'll take other ones that I want, for me to keep if you won't publish them.'

'She's been ordering everyone around like this since she gave birth,' Phoebe whispered to Rachel. Rachel nodded, pleased that Emily could feel assertive again.

The cameraman proved quite willing, and after taking Emily holding Alison he took one of them flanked by Rachel and Phoebe, then by Ross and Julie, and finally one of the entire group, while the reporter tried to make sense of who everyone was and how they were connected. When she realised how many of the women had been involved with Ross at one time or another, she seemed to sense a story. But she had only begun to follow it up when the nurse insisted that everyone should leave, to allow Emily to rest, completely ignoring Emily's protests that she did not feel at all tired. Privately, Rachel thought the nurse was right: Emily was running on adrenalin and needed to come down. Promising to return, they allowed themselves to be shepherded out.

The reporter kept with them, persisting with questions to and about Ross that became increasingly pointed, until to everyone's surprise Bonnie intervened and told her to stop making nasty insinuations.

'Ross has had some bad luck, and has done some things that hurt others,' she said, 'but which of us hasn't? He's sorry for it, and if you print stuff suggesting that he's a heartless love 'em and leave 'em type I'll come and wreck your office.'

'Yeah,' said Phoebe, 'and I'll be there too.' She and Bonnie did a high five.

'_And_ me,' said Monica fiercely. 'I'm not going to have my brother bad-mouthed in print.' She exchanged a further high five with Bonnie and Phoebe.

'Okay, _okay_,' said the reporter, unnerved. 'I believe you, he's a prince!' She beat a hasty retreat, followed by the cameraman, who winked at them.

'Thanks, guys,' said Ross sincerely, 'but I don't really deserve your support.'

'Oh, you're a good guy at heart, Ross,' said Bonnie, slapping him on the shoulder. 'Anyone who can father a cute little bundle like that can't be all bad. Let's celebrate.'

At this point Carol and Susan departed with Ben, saying that they had a lot to do, and Amanda left to catch up with some work, or so she said, followed by Joey, but the others were keen. They found a good quality bar near the hospital, so upmarket that at that time of day, early afternoon, it had few customers. But among those present was a very familiar face.

'Joshua!' said Rachel in surprise. He turned, and his face lit up, to fall again when he saw Ross.

'We've been in the hospital,' she explained. 'You remember Emily? She has just given birth to a daughter.'

'Alison Phoebe Rachel Waltham,' said Phoebe proudly.

'Waltham?' said Joshua. 'Then …?' He looked at Ross.

'We're getting divorced,' said Ross, 'but Julie's with me now.'

'That's great,' said Joshua, his face brightening again. 'I mean … great that you're with someone. How is Emily?'

'She's fine,' said Phoebe. 'She's living with me now. Haven't you heard of her – Emily the singer?'

'Wow, that's her?' said Joshua. 'I'm afraid I never got round to going to hear her, but I've heard _about _her all right.'

'You're looking well,' said Rachel. Then she introduced the people he did not know, while Janice was disputing with a waiter, who was adamant that she could not bring her son into the bar, even for a special occasion. However, he agreed to a compromise suggestion that they should all sit together outside, since it was a fine day. They picked a group of adjacent tables, and all the unattached women managed to sit near Joshua and looked at him with frank interest.

'So, Joshua,' said Phoebe, once drinks had been brought and a toast to Alison had been ceremoniously drunk. She had a slightly slightly wicked glint in her eye and glanced sidelong at Rachel, 'Is there anyone in your life at the moment?'

'Um, no,' said Joshua, looking slightly embarrassed. He took a perceptible breath. 'To be honest, I've not been lucky enough to find someone as nice as Rachel.'

'Oooh Rachel!' all the other women went, laughing and smiling at her, while she found herself blushing.

'That's too bad,' said Phoebe. 'Well, I'm happy to tell you that a lot of us are, like, fancy free, so you have plenty of choice here.'

This introduced a prolonged period of kidding, in which all of them except Rachel, Monica and Julie competed to suggest how much they were drawn to Joshua. He took it well and played along, but his eyes kept returning to Rachel.

Presently he asked, 'So, Rachel, is there no one in your life either? I find that hard to believe.'

Rachel smiled. 'There's no one … serious,' she said, looking round the others apologetically.

'She's _absolutely_ over Ross,' Phoebe put in. Rachel looked at her in irritation, but Phoebe smiled back insouciantly. 'He deserves to know all the facts,' she said.

'Then would you be interested in a date tonight?' said Joshua to Rachel. He was looking at her intently. It did not take Rachel very long to decide.

'Yes, Joshua, I would,' she said simply. This caused great cheers, making her blush again and Joshua look rather surprised.

'We all love Rachel,' Phoebe explained.

They agreed on a time and place, and then Joshua said that he really ought to be going. This was the signal for a general breakup.

As many of them walked in a group to the subway, Bonnie said to Rachel, 'I thought you guys were through.'

'Well, so did I,' said Rachel. 'But maybe I couldn't feel enough for him before because I wasn't over Ross. Maybe the spark _has_ always been there, hidden but glowing away.' She smiled at this fanciful metaphor.

'Well, if it doesn't work out, let me know,' said Bonnie. 'That is one _very_ cute guy.'

'Fair's fair,' said Chloe, 'let us _all_ know. I can run faster than Bonnie any day.'

Rachel giggled, and Bonnie gave a bark of laughter.

'You guys think you're so _hot_!' said Janice humorously. 'But maybe he'd like to have a ready-made family.' There was louder laughter.

'Isn't it a shame we're in a relationship already?' said Monica to Julie.

Julie rolled her eyes. 'I have to admit, that guy's a standing temptation. I hope one of you makes a hit with him, just so we can have him around to look at.'

This sally was greeted with loud approval by the other women. 'Way to go, Julie!' cried Phoebe, clapping her hands. '_Great_ idea. Our hopes, like, rest with you, Rachel.'

'Mine too,' said Chandler, 'so we can even up the numbers a bit.'

'Amen to that,' Ross put in.

Rachel looked around at them all, cheerfully exchanging banter, and for a moment her eyes misted with tears. Somehow they had managed to come through their greatest crisis without breaking up.

'I'll see what I can do,' she said, smiling at them all.

'That's it, then,' said Bonnie. 'Joshua's a gone goose. When Rachel puts her mind to it, there's nothing lesser beings can do.'

The goddess inside Rachel smiled, knowing that Bonnie was just joking and had no inkling of the truth. It seemed finally time to move on. There were other potential hosts in the group. Maybe she should inhabit Phoebe next: that ought to be interesting.

THE END


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